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Good old fashioned job bitching!

May 7th, 2011 (11:23 pm)

I work as a cashier at Kohls, aka every house wife's coupon bitch. See, at the magical land of Kohls we have 1 solid strict rule, "Yes we can!" I understand that's not really a rule but deal with me. Basically it means if the customer says it, so it shall be. "Oh I had a coupon for 30% off...but its at home." "Oh these shoes were only 25.99 not 57.99." "Oh I like my cashiers to come watch me jack off behind Subway after they ring me up so c'mon!"
I kid you not if they say it we make it happen. It's a fucking circus around that place. Way too much willy nilly for my liking.

However since I work these every fucking day I know the coupon schedules. Right now our coupons are only for 15% off, and the 30% offs start on the 11th. So the smart ass mullet wearing dyke (but not really dyke just old and not giving a shit anymore) bitches tell me "Oh I have a 30% off but I forgot it put it through for me ok". I get to smile real fucking wide, turn to them and say, "We don't have any 30% coupons running right now, only a 15%," while shitty Flash animated fire crackles in my eyes. They know I caught them and they are furious. They don't have any damn motherfucking coupons. They sometimes try to fight me on it, in which case I tell them if they find the coupon and it's valid for this day they can come back and go to customer service (imagine when I say 'customer service' that you hear thunder and my voice gets Morgan Freeman low) and they'll adjust the receipt.
It's fucking great! I puff my chest out a little bigger...then realize I have DDs and should probably go back to slouching so I don't pop the buttons off my cardigan.

It's the little things that get me by.